I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
