it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
