Whod you bang
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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