his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
