Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
