Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
