sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
