This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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