Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
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