So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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