I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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