There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
