Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
