Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
