At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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