Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
