Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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