Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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