that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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