Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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