i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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