I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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