Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
