This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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