TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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