drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
