do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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