thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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