Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
