so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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