Sponge bath it is.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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