eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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