So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
