I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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