it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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