I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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