You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
