quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
