I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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