feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize
