I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
