tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
