It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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