somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
