if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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