i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
