He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
