Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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