Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize