The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
