You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
