He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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