you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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