the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
