We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
