so let's talk penis.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
