Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize